The Hump

Wednesday was treatment #4 and the half-way point of the chemotherapy portion of my treatment. I headed off to the cancer clinic with my Dad, Cayley and a good friend in tow. Thankfully I had some extra support this time as I was a little extra weepy.

Not sure why, but I started to cry at the clinic before we even got started. I think my body just now knows what is coming and knows it’s not pleasant. The treatment didn’t take a long time, but it sure took its toll this time. It’s now been four days and I am still feeling off.

I’ve had a lot of visitors stop by which has been great. Good friends always seem to make things better. Both my brothers are in town this weekend so that has been nice as well. But I just don’t feel well. Feeling crappy has started to take an emotional toll on me. I keep crying for small reasons – I’m tired, I’m sore, I can’t get up without feeling gross and it is just getting the better of me this time.

Thankfully this is the last go of this type of chemo and hopefully the next 4 treatments will be better. I did still manage to get out a bit this week – watched my old soccer team play for a bit, attended a bridal shower for a friend, had sushi dinner with the family, and signed up for the Running Room’s Survivor 5km run clinic.

The clinic started on Wednesday, but since I was just out of treatment, they said I could come next week. I explained that I was still undergoing treatment and they seemed to think it would be okay to come to 2 out of every 3 weeks. Apparently at the end I will be ready to run and/or walk in the Run for the Cure coming up in early October. I am really looking forward to getting out there and getting started next week!

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day and moves me towards the start of feeling good for 2-ish weeks.

4 down, 4 to go. One set of drugs down, one left.

Pre-chemo #4 update

Today I headed back to the cancer center for my pre-chemo check-in. I met with Dr. Smatanova (I have NO idea how to spell that one) who was yet another Doctor assigned to me. Today the clinic was busier than usual – due to losing a day to the upcoming long weekend, they try and fit everyone in during the surrounding weeks. While I was waiting, the pharmacist at the clinic came and chatted with me.

The pharmacist’s name is Judith and she is awesome. My brother’s friend knows her from his practicum days and has nothing but respect for this woman – and I can see why. She is nice, funny, realistic, very educated, takes the time to answer all your questions, explains everything so that anyone could understand, and has a terrific smile that puts me right at ease.

Today she saw me waiting in the area and came to ask me if I had incurred much cost with for the injections I need to take to stimulate my bone marrow growth. Apparently she had access to some funding that might have helped if I had needed it. She also sat there with me and answered a few questions I had lingering.

Turns out, I will still need to be on the medication I am on for indigestion throughout my treatment. I will also need to take the needles again – guess I better make plans to either a.) figure out how to do it myself, or b.) bribe my nurse friends with lots of treats to get them to do it for me!

The treatment I have on Wednesday will be #4 and will be the last batch of the chemo drugs I am currently on. Treatment #5 will consist of a new drug which will have different side-effects. Thankfully the nausea, indigestion, mouth/throat sores will be minimized. The more unpleasant side-effects will be a lot of aches and pains. It will depend on how my body decides to react to it, but hopefully it will be a little easier to manage starting on #5.

This is great news as I have plenty of weddings and other shindigs to attend starting mid-August! I would like to be feeling as good as possible for those.

While I was waiting to see the Doctor, I read about a study that is being done at the BC Cancer Agency with regards to cancer and carbohydrates. Apparently cancer likes carbs and this study is suggesting that minimizing carb intake will help with recovery. So my “all protein all the time” diet might just have to be kicked up a little! The study looked really interesting and promising so I am going to try and eat plenty of proteins and not as many carbs/sugars to see if it helps with my recovery process.

Other than that, things are pretty much the same. I ran 3 times last week and did yoga twice. I’m hoping to run today, tomorrow, and Wednesday morning before my treatment so that I keep up with the exercise plan. I still get tired really easily and find that the sun is a little much to handle right now – I actually am a fan of this cooler summer weather we have been having!

Treatment #4 is on Wednesday, so if you are in the neighbourhood and want to stop by, I’d love some company. And you can help me get rid of the sugars in my house by eating all the treats! (talk about a great bribe! ;) )

Showing up

Lately I’ve been worried a lot about how to show up to events. It’s a little more difficult these days to just run out the door and go. I’m worried about if I have everything I need to a.) cover up my skin, b.) make sure I look okay and not too “cancer-patienty” and c.) what’s my exit strategy for when I really need to jet.

Last night a good friend of mine took me to an easy yoga class downtown. I thought all day about how I was going to show up. What wig was I going to wear? How was I going to prevent it from falling off? How many people were going to be there? Would that be too crowded for me? What if someone there was sick?

I almost called and bailed – almost. But I decided to go as the last time I had been with her the class really helped stretch me out and make me feel better.

The class was great – packed with people, but great. I was definitely nervous and at one point during the class I shed a few tears. Thankfully it was during the part where everyone was lying down with their eyes closed so no one could see! Ha-ha! (I’ve been told to just let myself cry when it comes…so I did! Ha-ha). I made it through the class and definitely felt better.

Today is the staff summer party at my work. We are heading out to Okanagan Lake Resort for an “Amazing Race” challenge. Earlier in the week I had the same dilemma – how was I going to show up to this? Normally I would have been the first to jump in to participate, started trash talking about how my team was going to win, been joking around with everyone in the office about ‘strategy’ etc. But this year is different.

I worried about getting my wig wet, it falling off, being out of shape, getting embarrassed (I’m pretty sure not everyone in the office knows yet), etc. So I decided to volunteer to be the photographer.

I’ve packed my bag for the day and it has everything in it I could possibly need – I think. I think it will be a fun day and I will get to know people a bit more at my work. I already love the ones I know, so getting to know more of them will be awesome I am sure.

I guess sometimes it’s not how you show up, but just that you show up at all. Plus, being the photographer means I won’t have to be in any of those embarrassing shots that are sure to appear online! ;)

My first run

This morning was a little overcast and cool so I decided it would be the day for my “after-cancer treatment” running debut. I had run up to the point of receiving my first chemo treatment at which point I stopped. The thing that stopped me the most was my surgery (doc’s orders – no running for 6 weeks!), but during the days when I was recovering from my chemo treatments there was no way I was going to be able to run either.

So this morning I ran for 23 minutes and 47 seconds. I remember when that time frame meant I ran 5km. Not that far today…not by a long shot. Cayley and I had decided beforehand that we would go slow – like beginner slow. We followed the Running Room’s beginning runner program – 1 minute run, 1 minute walk – and ran/walked our way through my neighbourhood.

I have no idea how far we went but to me it didn’t matter – I got out there and ran (well and walked ;) ). To top it off, we came around a corner and standing there was a deer! We walked slowly by to not scare it and then watched as it ran off into the woods. Not a bad way to finish off my first ‘after-cancer treatment’ run.

I’m going to try and run about 3x per week on good weeks and see what happens. 7 years ago in the 5km Run for the Cure I posted my best time of just under 23 minutes. I ran hard that year to honour my mom who had passed away that July. I wanted it to be my fastest time ever.

I already see advertisements for this year’s October run and I think I will try and participate again. At that point it will be just weeks before my chemo is over. This year just finishing will be the goal and hopefully if I can keep up the short bits of running for the rest of the summer, I might even get up to 2 minutes of running and 1 minute walking ;) I might even join one of those “Survivor” clinics that is offered through running groups in town. Technically, I’m not one yet, but I don’t think they’d mind and it would ensure that I keep getting out there.

Treatment #4 is in 10 days so hopefully I can get in 4 runs in before then. And maybe take a small step closer to that 5km.

Needles and I are also not friends

Due to my white counts taking so long to regenerate last time, the doctor prescribed me a new drug to help stimulate the lil’ guys so they can keep me on track for the rest of my chemo treatments. However, there is a catch – I have to give the injection to myself 3 times each round….yikes.

Here’s the thing – I am not scared of needles. I’ve been poked and prodded enough and it’s just fine. But the thought of doing it myself…eeks.

The injections would need to be given on day 5, 6 & 7 after treatment, so for me, it started Sunday. I went in on Friday so the nurses could teach me how to properly inject myself. I wasn’t feeling all that great that day and the thought of doing this was not exactly on my list of fun things to do. The nurse started explaining everything and I took the needle and got it ready to put into the vial of water to practice drawing it up into the needle. I must have been either nervous or scared or freaked out because I promptly dropped the needle…right into my foot!

It didn’t hurt all that much, but of course, I started to cry. I did not want to have to do this. It was really upsetting me but the nurse assured me I would be okay and I left the clinic. First thing I did when I got home? Called my dear friend who is a nurse to see if she’d give me the needle instead! Ha ha!

I’m very lucky to have an amazing nurse as a friend of mine, who happens to live pretty close by. She gave me my injections for this time and it seems to have worked! The Doc called and said my white counts are already up and I will be on schedule for treatment #4. I might not have to take anymore next time either...they will just monitor me and see. And hopefully this little needle mark on my foot will go away… ;)

Third time’s a charm

Last week I was delayed twice for chemo #3…but it worked out really well. I was able to go to Alaska to see my friends get married and felt pretty okay for the trip! The setting was gorgeous, the bride was absolutely stunning, the groom couldn’t stop smiling, and it was a super fun wedding with lots of great people.

I felt a little self-conscious on the plane, as I wore a little mask and wiped down everything in sight with anti-bacterial wipes, but I just can’t afford to get sick. Everything went smoothly on our flights to Anchorage and we rented a car to get out to Alyeska Resort in Girdwood. It was a really great weekend and I even saw a moose and a bear!

On Wednesday, I went in for chemo #3. My white cell counts were fine so it was a go after the third check-in. This time I had a nurse who was very blunt, abrupt, and well, just not all that pleasant. Maybe I noticed more because all the other nurses in there are so nice…and she was just so…well, not. My dad, along with my cousin and her fiancé from the UK came with me this time. It was great to have them there, although they were only allowed in one-at-a-time.

When my cousin came in, I started to get a little weepy. I just really did not want to be in there. I did not want to do this again. She just held my hand and told me it would be okay, and we got under way.

Things went really quickly this time and I was out in less than 2 hours. We headed out to lunch at Quails’ Gate after so my cousin could see the winery. I also got to see a dear friend who works there, so that was great too!

I headed home after and curled up on the couch. I’ve been a lot more tired this time around, taking way more naps than previous. I’ve had some great visitors stop in, however a lot of the time, I just lie on the couch and can’t say much…I’m really tired!

But I am feeling okay right now. We are hoping to head off to Vancouver tomorrow for the night for an engagement party where a lot of my Dad’s side of the family will be in attendance. (and of course, try to hit up Ikea ;) ).

3 down, 5 to go.