Last week was a bit of a whirlwind – managing my last few radiation appointments, sprinkled with other doctor visits, made the week seem to fly by and all of a sudden it was Thursday afternoon. My 27th radiation treatment happened at 3pm on Thursday and my 28th, and final, treatment was scheduled for Friday at 9am. This small 18 hour gap between treatments made the end seem that much more in reach.
Friday’s final treatment felt great. I threw my hospital housecoat and gown into the laundry service, never to wear it again. I headed into work feeling full of energy. It was such an amazing day – like your birthday, only filled with a huge sense of relief!
People sent me well-wishes, called, sent flowers – it was fabulous! My work had a surprise celebration for me as well which was totally unexpected and really moved me.
After work I headed for dinner with Dad, Devin, Cayley and my Aunt who was in town. I was feeling great and thought that maybe we’d go out a bit later to celebrate. But as has happened to me continuously since this whole thing started, I got tired…fast. One minute I was thinking of places to go and meet people, the next I was thinking of nothing but my bed.
While the official celebrations didn’t last long, all in all, it was a great weekend filled with a lot of smiles. There were some tears too – maybe some of relief, maybe some of uncertainty, maybe some of stress – I really don’t know where they came from, but they didn’t last long – the feeling of being done was just too much joy!
So what’s next? Well the Doc told me that I should expect to feel the side-effects building for another 10-14 days, at which point they peak and then subside. I don’t need to see the radiation Doc for a check-up until mid-April.
I’ve started working a bit more, and in a fabulous bit of news, work is sending me to San Francisco with two other colleagues to work a tradeshow next week! Part of me is a bit nervous about heading out for such a long period of time, especially without Cayley. But part of me is so excited – excited to go to SF, excited to see some of my friends there, and excited to get back to some sort of ‘normal’ and productive life.
I know I will have to be careful – I still get really tired, really quickly – but my coworkers know that and are prepared for me taking a lot of breaks if needed. So bring on SF! Definitely excited for next week and to see what it holds.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Friday, 10 February 2012
One week to go
I wanted to write earlier and announce that I was into the single digits for treatment or other slightly less boring news, but as often happens to me these days, I just can’t find the time, nor energy to write in my blog. It’s not that I am so drained I don’t have energy for anything – but I really do feel that with going to the cancer centre every day, plus trying to work, get errands done, and live a normalish lifestyle, there is not much time for anything else.
Yesterday I had a really bad day, so I decided to take the morning off from everything and write a few thoughts on here. So let me get you up to speed:
I’m down to only 5 treatments left – exactly one week today, at around 930am, I will be done the radiation portion of my treatment plan. I don’t have treatment today as the machine has its scheduled maintenance day, so I get a bit of a long weekend.
How do I feel about being close to the end? For the most part, excellent. No more going to the centre every day, trying to find parking, putting on a gown and waiting for my turn. No more wondering if it will take 15 minutes or an hour to be done my session. All in all, I will be very happy this next part is over.
However, I’d be lying if I said I was completely stoked to be done – there is this small part of me that is a bit concerned.
When you are sick and you have to go to the hospital every day, you take small comfort in the fact that if anything new is wrong, it will be less than 24 hours before you see doctors, nurses, technicians and other experienced staff who have seen many people like you before. A casual mention of “hey, I have this new spot on my neck, is that common?” can instantly put you at ease, or put you into a plan to treat that side effect.
Other times, it’s the professionals who notice something – “Hmmm Aidan, you have a bit of a mark on your skin, let’s just check that out to be sure.” My safety net of many nurses, doctors, technicians, etc checking me out every day will be gone.
In all honesty, it’s not hard to go to the centre or call them and wait to see someone. And I’m 99% happy to be done with radiation. But there is that little 1% of me that wonders if I will be as good as the staff at spotting new/different things going on with me. How careful and observant will I have to be? In going to the centre, every day I feel like I am doing something towards making me healthy – will not going there leave a void? Leave me feeling like I am doing nothing to help my health?
Anyways, these are just some of the questions that float through my mind at times. Don’t get me wrong, I will be happy to be done this part of my treatment – very happy. But it’s hard to not wonder – what’s next?
Yesterday I had a really bad day, so I decided to take the morning off from everything and write a few thoughts on here. So let me get you up to speed:
I’m down to only 5 treatments left – exactly one week today, at around 930am, I will be done the radiation portion of my treatment plan. I don’t have treatment today as the machine has its scheduled maintenance day, so I get a bit of a long weekend.
How do I feel about being close to the end? For the most part, excellent. No more going to the centre every day, trying to find parking, putting on a gown and waiting for my turn. No more wondering if it will take 15 minutes or an hour to be done my session. All in all, I will be very happy this next part is over.
However, I’d be lying if I said I was completely stoked to be done – there is this small part of me that is a bit concerned.
When you are sick and you have to go to the hospital every day, you take small comfort in the fact that if anything new is wrong, it will be less than 24 hours before you see doctors, nurses, technicians and other experienced staff who have seen many people like you before. A casual mention of “hey, I have this new spot on my neck, is that common?” can instantly put you at ease, or put you into a plan to treat that side effect.
Other times, it’s the professionals who notice something – “Hmmm Aidan, you have a bit of a mark on your skin, let’s just check that out to be sure.” My safety net of many nurses, doctors, technicians, etc checking me out every day will be gone.
In all honesty, it’s not hard to go to the centre or call them and wait to see someone. And I’m 99% happy to be done with radiation. But there is that little 1% of me that wonders if I will be as good as the staff at spotting new/different things going on with me. How careful and observant will I have to be? In going to the centre, every day I feel like I am doing something towards making me healthy – will not going there leave a void? Leave me feeling like I am doing nothing to help my health?
Anyways, these are just some of the questions that float through my mind at times. Don’t get me wrong, I will be happy to be done this part of my treatment – very happy. But it’s hard to not wonder – what’s next?
Shingles – not just siding for your house
I developed a small rash on my neck about 10 days ago. My neck was itchy one Monday night so when I went to the cancer centre on Tuesday, I asked about it. I first asked the Radiation technicians if it was from the radiation. Nope – the field of the radiation beam doesn’t go that high on my neck.
Next up was my Herceptin treatment, so I asked the nurses in the chemo room about it. They weren’t sure, so they called in one of the Oncologist Docs. She said it was likely nothing, but was going to check with my main Doc just in case.
Turns out that I might have shingles. After having chicken pox as a kid, the virus lay dormant in my body for the last 20+ years. The Docs get concerned with chemo patients that their immune systems have been compromised and that the virus might rear its ugly head in the adult form of chicken pox, shingles. They don’t want to chance anything, so I’m given an anti-viral medication to take for a week.
I also asked my Radiation Doc what he thought – he wasn’t sure it was shingles, but we better take precautions just in case. The technicians now have to wear yellow gowns and rubber gloves when treating me, to protect other patients. I was told to wash my hands a lot and to watch for any other signs of a rash on other parts of my body.
So I went on my merry way and was diligent about taking my medication, not scratching my neck, and looking for other signs of a rash.
I started to feel itchy in the back of my head, so I took a look and saw a small area of red – definitely not as red or rash-like as the area on my neck, but it was still there. So in between physio and my radiation treatment yesterday, I thought I’d stop in to see the doc/nurse and see what was up.
That started an afternoon of awfulness for me. I was taken to an isolation room and two nurses came to talk to me – one of the regular nurses from the centre and one from infection control. They both wore those yellow gowns and rubber gloves. To say I was nervous/scared was an understatement.
The Doctor came in to see me briefly and told me I could go to my radiation treatment, but to come back afterwards and we’d get it sorted out.
I went down to the radiation room and as I was lying on the table, the infection control nurse came in and told me they needed to put a mask on me to protect other patients. I was lying there, tears streaming down my face, and wondering what was going to happen.
After radiation was done, I went back to the isolation room area – I asked if I could just go home and they told me I couldn’t. I just couldn’t help it, I started crying.
To make a long story shorter, I spent the next 3 hours and 45 minutes in a room by myself. The nurses would come in every once in a while to offer me water or other things but really, I just wanted to leave. I tried really hard to stay positive and keep myself occupied with surfing the internet on my phone. Cayley and another friend kept sending me funny texts to make me laugh.
Around hour 2.5 I was getting really nervous – why did this not seem as serious before? When could I go home? What was happening? Not only that, my phone’s battery was slowly dying. I hadn’t eaten lunch and it was nearing 330pm. I asked Cayley to call the centre and see if they would tell him what was happening with me. He said he’d try and find out.
Next thing I know, there is a knock at the door and in walks Cayley with some water and a muffin. He said he told the staff that if I was contagious, he’d already have been exposed as we made out a lot – he said that made the nurses laugh so they let him come see me. I don’t think I can say enough times how amazing this guy is!
Anyways, I was finally sent home around 445pm with a prescription for a cream for the small area on the back of my head. The infection control nurse had gone for the day by the time the doctor was sending me home, so I didn’t really know what to do. I was scared that I’d exposed other people – including my friend’s 2 year old son and my other friend who is 3 months pregnant. I would feel awful if anything bad happened to them because of me.
As I went to bed last night, I kept wondering ‘is this going to be the rest of my life? Always being sick with something?’ I cried a lot – mostly because I was worried, a bit scared, and a lot tired from siting in a room by myself all afternoon.
This morning I got a phone call from the infection control nurse – turns out they think that the small rash on the back of my head is not shingles, I was/am not contagious, and not to worry. A few different docs will follow up with me to see what is going on back there – but for now, don’t worry, use the prescription cream, and try not to wear anything in the area.
That was a scare I’d like to never repeat. It also got me wondering if I will always be like this – having to see doctors all the time with new items going awry because of what my body has been through. Cayley reassured me that given time, my body will recover, I’ll be healthy like before and a lot of this will be behind me. So I’m going to believe him, and go back to the world where shingles are the things to you put on the side of your house.
Next up was my Herceptin treatment, so I asked the nurses in the chemo room about it. They weren’t sure, so they called in one of the Oncologist Docs. She said it was likely nothing, but was going to check with my main Doc just in case.
Turns out that I might have shingles. After having chicken pox as a kid, the virus lay dormant in my body for the last 20+ years. The Docs get concerned with chemo patients that their immune systems have been compromised and that the virus might rear its ugly head in the adult form of chicken pox, shingles. They don’t want to chance anything, so I’m given an anti-viral medication to take for a week.
I also asked my Radiation Doc what he thought – he wasn’t sure it was shingles, but we better take precautions just in case. The technicians now have to wear yellow gowns and rubber gloves when treating me, to protect other patients. I was told to wash my hands a lot and to watch for any other signs of a rash on other parts of my body.
So I went on my merry way and was diligent about taking my medication, not scratching my neck, and looking for other signs of a rash.
I started to feel itchy in the back of my head, so I took a look and saw a small area of red – definitely not as red or rash-like as the area on my neck, but it was still there. So in between physio and my radiation treatment yesterday, I thought I’d stop in to see the doc/nurse and see what was up.
That started an afternoon of awfulness for me. I was taken to an isolation room and two nurses came to talk to me – one of the regular nurses from the centre and one from infection control. They both wore those yellow gowns and rubber gloves. To say I was nervous/scared was an understatement.
The Doctor came in to see me briefly and told me I could go to my radiation treatment, but to come back afterwards and we’d get it sorted out.
I went down to the radiation room and as I was lying on the table, the infection control nurse came in and told me they needed to put a mask on me to protect other patients. I was lying there, tears streaming down my face, and wondering what was going to happen.
After radiation was done, I went back to the isolation room area – I asked if I could just go home and they told me I couldn’t. I just couldn’t help it, I started crying.
To make a long story shorter, I spent the next 3 hours and 45 minutes in a room by myself. The nurses would come in every once in a while to offer me water or other things but really, I just wanted to leave. I tried really hard to stay positive and keep myself occupied with surfing the internet on my phone. Cayley and another friend kept sending me funny texts to make me laugh.
Around hour 2.5 I was getting really nervous – why did this not seem as serious before? When could I go home? What was happening? Not only that, my phone’s battery was slowly dying. I hadn’t eaten lunch and it was nearing 330pm. I asked Cayley to call the centre and see if they would tell him what was happening with me. He said he’d try and find out.
Next thing I know, there is a knock at the door and in walks Cayley with some water and a muffin. He said he told the staff that if I was contagious, he’d already have been exposed as we made out a lot – he said that made the nurses laugh so they let him come see me. I don’t think I can say enough times how amazing this guy is!
Anyways, I was finally sent home around 445pm with a prescription for a cream for the small area on the back of my head. The infection control nurse had gone for the day by the time the doctor was sending me home, so I didn’t really know what to do. I was scared that I’d exposed other people – including my friend’s 2 year old son and my other friend who is 3 months pregnant. I would feel awful if anything bad happened to them because of me.
As I went to bed last night, I kept wondering ‘is this going to be the rest of my life? Always being sick with something?’ I cried a lot – mostly because I was worried, a bit scared, and a lot tired from siting in a room by myself all afternoon.
This morning I got a phone call from the infection control nurse – turns out they think that the small rash on the back of my head is not shingles, I was/am not contagious, and not to worry. A few different docs will follow up with me to see what is going on back there – but for now, don’t worry, use the prescription cream, and try not to wear anything in the area.
That was a scare I’d like to never repeat. It also got me wondering if I will always be like this – having to see doctors all the time with new items going awry because of what my body has been through. Cayley reassured me that given time, my body will recover, I’ll be healthy like before and a lot of this will be behind me. So I’m going to believe him, and go back to the world where shingles are the things to you put on the side of your house.
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