The First Week

Today marked the first full week of radiation treatment for me - 5 treatments under my belt so far.

On the first day I was given a hospital gown and a hospital housecoat to use during my treatment. I need to be naked from the waist up underneath my gown. I need to get changed in the change rooms at the centre before my set appointment, then wait in the waiting area for my specific machine. There are 5 machines at the cancer centre and are named The Lake, The Hills, The Park, Orchard, and The Beach. I am being treated on the Beach machine at the very end of the hall.

The room that houses the Beach machine is quite large with a medical table in the middle. There is a big machine that hovers around the table – the machine will move around you, but won’t touch you. Each day I go for treatment my settings for my scan will be set out on the table ready for me to lie in there and get placed in the same position each time. There is a cushion that goes under my legs, pressing up against my butt. There is a mold for my head/neck, and two for my left arm – one for the bicep, one for the hand. My left arm needs to be raised up behind my head to expose my side so it can receive treatment.

The first day I walked into the room and started crying. I’m not sure why I was upset – maybe the reality of it all had sunk in. I was able to compose myself and then laid on the table to get ready. The radiation technicians then try to line me up on the table in the exact position I had my CT scan in. My tattoos will help them position me where I need to be lined up.

There were three technicians setting me up and as they moved me around they would tell each other a variety of numbers. Often after hearing the number, another technician would say “I agree”. I guess they have to ensure I am in the correct spot before getting going.

The first day took about 30 minutes of lying on the table. The technicians came in and out of the room a few times to check things out. The lights are dimmed when I first lie on the table and there are green laser lights lining the table – think of the red motion sensor lights you often see that act as security surrounding valuables in the museums in the movies.

Once the technicians leave the room, the lights get turned on and the big machine starts to move around me. The first few days I needed to have x-ray pictures done to make sure I am lined up properly on the machine. Then the radiation starts.

To be honest, I don’t really know when it is happening versus when the machine is just moving and adjusting. Once the technicians come in and tell me it’s over I am able to move again. Otherwise I need to stay as still as I can.

The second day was similar to the first – although I was really uncomfortable while lying on the table and started shedding a few tears. The technicians helped me get as comfortable as I could and tried to speed things along.

Day 3 and 4 were really speedy. The whole treatment time only took about 10-15 minutes. But today was a different story.

I’m not sure if the two day’s rest over the weekend changed anything in my shoulder, or made them ache more, but today’s treatment was very uncomfortable. The technicians had a hard time lining me up properly and kept moving me to try and adjust my position.

As the time ticked by, I laid there and could feel tears brimming. I closed my eyes, hoping to fend them off, but it didn’t really work. I could hear the staff talking about how my one tattoo was almost too small to see and that maybe I should get re-tattooed. One technician asked me if it was okay if they re-did the tattoo after we were done today. I couldn’t answer. I could feel tears spilling out of my eyes and my voice could not make so much as a whisper.

The technicians asked me a few questions and I nodded or shook my head. I managed to eek out that I was trying to stay still and I was really sorry. They got my some tissue and told me I could put my arm down – we’d start again. The staff were really encouraging and trying to be helpful – they know that my shoulders really hurt from the positioning and try to be as quick as possible.

I managed to get the tears under control and said we could proceed – it was really hard to get my lined up and I needed 3 x-rays to get the position correct. The treatment session took an hour and I could see in the waiting room when I left that I had caused a bit of a backup in patients.

After the treatment today I had a check-in appointment with my Radiation Oncologist. The appointment was nothing exciting – but the doctor noticed right away that I seemed subdued and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was uncomfortable during the treatments and had a few issues with crying. He offered me a few ways to manage the pain but we decided for now to simply up my dose of ibuprofen – I was taking 1 before my treatment, now I am to try taking 3.

As for side-effects, so far I have a small inflammation on one of my scars from the surgery. My shoulders ache a lot and I wake up with my hands/fingers really aching in the mornings. It seems unlikely that that is from the radiation treatments, but I don’t really know for sure. I am told that other side-effects might not show up until 2 weeks after the first treatment.

5 treatments in, with 3 of them consisting of tears. Hopefully I can get that under control for the rest of the sessions. 23 left to go – target completion date: Feb 17.